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ljwritesI learned about this meme when Kimberly T. replied to my review to her fic Promises to Keep, and I thought it was so awesome I wrote my own tells.
10 Ways to Tell You're Reading a Story by Lunatique
10. The story is long, sometimes excruciatingly so. Even short stories run to thousands of words, and some chapters are as long as complete chaptered stories by other, less long-winded authors.
9. Description pr0n. Every single new place gets some description, and sometimes there will be paragraphs and paragraphs of it. This contributes greatly to No. 10.
8. Lots of HIGH-HANDED DRAMA. Lots of little pauses, lots of characters looking into each others' eyes, and lots of HIGH-HANDEDLY DRAMATIC declarations of what a character will or will not do.
7. Everything is political in the end. Even if it's about a dead kitten or cute girls kissing and cuddling. Or cute girls kissing and cuddling with a dead kitten, whatever.
6. Luna's Law of Politics: Nobility are evil, except the ones that pal around with commoners. Commoners are nice, except the ones that pal around with nobility.
5. Long chaptered stories are usually about a teenage boy starting out happy and innocent, or at least innocent, only to be dragged down into despair and depravity (not that sort, you pervs) through evil machinations, conniving relations, conflicting desires, well-meaning friends, the character's own abiding flaws, and of course, much HIGH-HANDED DRAMA.
4. The prettiest girl in the story cries a lot.
3. Children under 18 get into weirdly adult situations, whether it's political intrigue (see No. 7) or straight-out sex and violence. The children usually end up handling these situations more maturely than most adults. (To be fair, it is Avatar fanfic.)
2. The stories often focus on Atoners, or at least prospective Atoners (see no. 5). Sometimes characters who don't seem to have much to atone for are shoehorned into this role.
1. Numerous animals are harmed in the writing of the story.
Agree? Disagree? I would love to read other peoples' lists, too. :D
10 Ways to Tell You're Reading a Story by Lunatique
10. The story is long, sometimes excruciatingly so. Even short stories run to thousands of words, and some chapters are as long as complete chaptered stories by other, less long-winded authors.
9. Description pr0n. Every single new place gets some description, and sometimes there will be paragraphs and paragraphs of it. This contributes greatly to No. 10.
8. Lots of HIGH-HANDED DRAMA. Lots of little pauses, lots of characters looking into each others' eyes, and lots of HIGH-HANDEDLY DRAMATIC declarations of what a character will or will not do.
7. Everything is political in the end. Even if it's about a dead kitten or cute girls kissing and cuddling. Or cute girls kissing and cuddling with a dead kitten, whatever.
6. Luna's Law of Politics: Nobility are evil, except the ones that pal around with commoners. Commoners are nice, except the ones that pal around with nobility.
5. Long chaptered stories are usually about a teenage boy starting out happy and innocent, or at least innocent, only to be dragged down into despair and depravity (not that sort, you pervs) through evil machinations, conniving relations, conflicting desires, well-meaning friends, the character's own abiding flaws, and of course, much HIGH-HANDED DRAMA.
4. The prettiest girl in the story cries a lot.
3. Children under 18 get into weirdly adult situations, whether it's political intrigue (see No. 7) or straight-out sex and violence. The children usually end up handling these situations more maturely than most adults. (To be fair, it is Avatar fanfic.)
2. The stories often focus on Atoners, or at least prospective Atoners (see no. 5). Sometimes characters who don't seem to have much to atone for are shoehorned into this role.
1. Numerous animals are harmed in the writing of the story.
Agree? Disagree? I would love to read other peoples' lists, too. :D
