Ancient Turkic funerals were so METAL, guys

[ljwrites]

In the course of researching the nexus between marriage and funeral rites, I also found out that courtship was frequently a part of the funerals of ancient Turkic tribes in Central Asia. Weird as that might seem, it turns out that young men and women making googly eyes at each other was the tamest part of a Turkic funeral by far. Here's a description from the Zhoushu (周書), a Tang Chinese historical compilation completed in the year 636:

The body of the dead is laid out within the tent (house). Male and female descendants and kin kill sheep and horses which are laid before the entrance to the tent, and rites are given. They circle the tent on horseback, and cut their faces with a knife and wail each time they reach the entrance of the tent so that their faces are covered in blood. They stop only after making this circuit seven times.

On an auspicious day they bring out the horses of the deceased and his belongings to burn along with he body, then keep the ashes until the time comes for burial. For those who died in spring and summer, the time is when the leaves yellow and fall; for those who died in autumn or winter, the kin will await the profusion of flowers and leaves. Then a hole is dug in the ground and the ashes buried. The kin give rites on the day of burial, and the ride and cutting of faces are repeated as in the original ceremony of death.

When the burial is finished, stones mark the grave, matching the number of people the deceased killed over his lifetime. Rites are given with sheep and horse heads, which are hung on posts. On this day the men and women gather at the place of burial, bedecked in finery and splendid ornaments. If a woman catches a man's eye he will soon send to her house and make a proposal for marriage. The woman's parents will generally acquiesce to the match without objection.

So it's a good place to meet your future spouse, people are here from near and far and they all look their best. It's basically a social gathering, even if it's a funera- OMG you can count the exact number of people Uncle Aydar murdered! Horse and sheep heads stand in mute vigil! Cousin Irek is dripping blood all over the place!

And yet, through a haze of blood loss-induced dizziness Cousin Irek still has the presence of mind to notice how hot that the girl from the neighboring tribe got since the funeral last autumn. One has to admire his dedication.

Alternate explanation: The tribesmen were totally hamming it up for the square from China, dreaming up the wildest details possible so the guy wets his pants all the way back to his Emperor, who may think twice before messing with the Turks. Just imagine how that conversation went:

"All right, gentlemen. This is the planning stage for Operation: Dragon Brownpants. Ideas?"

"Ummm.. how 'bout we cut our faces while riding circles around the body?"

"The face?! Man, you out of your mind?"

"Wait wait, I got one better--let's ride seven circles and make a cut each time!"

"And just to show 'em how badass we are, we'll do that twice, for the wake and the burial!"

"Guys, this is getting out of hand-"

"Ooh, ooh, I've got one! Let's put a hundred stones on his grave and tell the Chinese guy it's for every man he's killed in his life. That ought to give this Mandarin some pause."

"Good one. Why don't we put up animal heads so everything looks scarier?"

"Then we go in there, covered in our own blood like we don't give a damn."

"Umm... we do still get to pick up girls at the funeral, right?"

(everyone stares)

"Of course. What are you, sick? Where else are you going to get girls?"

"Just checking."

Comments

[lb_lee]

Is it also possible that perhaps the Chinese exaggerated the funeral with the intent of showing how brutal and foreign the Turks were? It sounds a lot like the, "You know, in Nowherestan, did you know they eat BABIES?"

--Miranda

[ljwrites]

There's definitely quite a bit of exoticization and othering in Chinese records of the "barbarian races," as there tend to be when talking about people you think are inferior and alien. We're unable to check these against the Turkic tribes' own records, either, since they didn't leave written records going that far back.

[lb_lee]

Honestly, it kind of reminds me of when I was trying to research the Carthaginians for the Princess and Her Monster; they were so thoroughly stomped by the Romans that basically everything we know about Carthage are from them, and obviously, Rome did not think very highly of Carthage. There are lots of, "my god, these people wear women's clothing, and they are wimpish and effete and TOO DAMN RICH!"

I suppose thinking other people are weird is universal.

--Rogan

[dhampyresa]

They were probably trolling the Chinese to some extent, because, come on, wouldn't you?

[ljwrites]

I would find it difficult to resist the temptation, true. XD