Why I'm Going Straight to Hell
Jan. 24th, 2013 10:36 amGo to heaven for the climate, hell for the company.
-Mark Twain
So I casually mentioned on![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
sohawkeward's LJ that I used to be Christian, and she asked me why that was in the past tense. It was a fair question, since I was the one who brought it up after all. The answer wasn't nearly as simple as the question, though, and a few days passed between thinking too hard about it and real life being its usual self. Since the answer got long and involved, I decided to put it in a blog post instead. I did a version of this post in Korean some years ago, but my thoughts have changed and hopefully matured since then.
The short answer to the question of why I'm no longer Christian is that the Christian church has been a source of strife and pain for me far more than a source of learning or growth, and I feel I can pursue my spirituality better outside of it. Also, I'm too lazy to go to church on Sundays.
( The long answer, should you care to hear it... )
I don't know if leaving the church has made me a better person or not, but I do know I'm happier for it. It's a good feeling not to be constantly afraid, to trust my own perceptions and convictions without having to compromise who I am and what I believe, to associate with people I like and whom I can learn from. I'm glad I've gotten out, though obviously my life has no bearing on anyone else's path. I like that we're all different people with different lives and thoughts; if everyone were like me life would be horribly dull. I like that no one has all the answers. Humans have to each other because we don't know everything, and whatever the truth of everything might be (hint: 42) I think it's as much in the dialogue as in the conclusion. I know even less than most, having no idea whether there is a God or gods or what happens after death, and I'm happy with that ignorance. It keeps me looking, and it's a journey I thoroughly enjoy.
-Mark Twain
So I casually mentioned on
sohawkeward's LJ that I used to be Christian, and she asked me why that was in the past tense. It was a fair question, since I was the one who brought it up after all. The answer wasn't nearly as simple as the question, though, and a few days passed between thinking too hard about it and real life being its usual self. Since the answer got long and involved, I decided to put it in a blog post instead. I did a version of this post in Korean some years ago, but my thoughts have changed and hopefully matured since then.The short answer to the question of why I'm no longer Christian is that the Christian church has been a source of strife and pain for me far more than a source of learning or growth, and I feel I can pursue my spirituality better outside of it. Also, I'm too lazy to go to church on Sundays.
( The long answer, should you care to hear it... )
I don't know if leaving the church has made me a better person or not, but I do know I'm happier for it. It's a good feeling not to be constantly afraid, to trust my own perceptions and convictions without having to compromise who I am and what I believe, to associate with people I like and whom I can learn from. I'm glad I've gotten out, though obviously my life has no bearing on anyone else's path. I like that we're all different people with different lives and thoughts; if everyone were like me life would be horribly dull. I like that no one has all the answers. Humans have to each other because we don't know everything, and whatever the truth of everything might be (hint: 42) I think it's as much in the dialogue as in the conclusion. I know even less than most, having no idea whether there is a God or gods or what happens after death, and I'm happy with that ignorance. It keeps me looking, and it's a journey I thoroughly enjoy.
