On being a Christian atheist

[ljwrites]

I am a Christian atheist.

Let me state up front what I don't mean by that; I don't mean I believe in the obscure branch of Christian theology which states that God is dead and we must love each other and save each other in that absence. While I admire the poignancy of it, it doesn't gel for me even as metaphor because I don't believe God is dead but rather that he never existed, at least in any physical sense outside the sensemaking that we do through story.

I also don't use "atheist" as a pejorative here, as a Christian pastor does in his book The Christian Atheist criticizing Christians for living as though God does not exist. I don't think it's morally or intellectually inferior or superior not to believe in God.(1) By atheism I mean, simply, the lack of belief in God as a supernatural being. I don't assign any moral or other value judgment to it.

Fortunately, Christian atheism seems a lot more visible than it was back when I was first searching for the term back in 2013. The above two senses were the only ones I could find at the time, but now I am able to find entire articles on cultural Christianity(2) and more expanded information on Christian atheism itself, not to mention modern Christian atheists openly expressing their convictions.

How does Christian atheism work, though? Christianity, unlike Judaism or Buddhism, is not a tradition that is friendly toward atheism. Calling oneself a Christian requires a belief in certain tenets of faith including, at minimum, a belief in an all-powerful and perfect God.

I imagine it works differently for everyone, but for me one big conceptual step was separating Christianity as a culture and Christianity as a religion. I am no longer religious but I am still part of a culture shaped by Christianity, from Korea's long history of Christianity to my own family's faith going back generations. It never felt right that I would have to leave behind such a big part of my heritage, which is very much grounded on Earth and on real people, solely because I no longer believed in the supernatural.

Recognizing Christianity as a culture as well as a religion is also important, I believe, because Christianity in many contexts is afforded the privilege of being the invisible default, much like whiteness, maleness, or heterosexuality. Cultural Christianity much like religious Christianity has a number of issues that need to be discussed and unlearned, such as its casual social domination, cheap grace, misogyny, and lionization of suffering.

None of this discussion and unlearning can happen while we deny the existence of cultural Christianity, especially as Christians in the West are increasingly secularized and lose even the visibility afforded to them through religious Christianity. Too many culturally Christian atheists deny their ties to Christianity and make cultural Christianity even more invisible, obfuscating criticism and debate.

Another big part of being a Christian atheist for me is the reclamation of Christian theology for a Godless worldview focused on this world and on fellow living beings. I do not believe in heaven or hell as (meta)physical places in the afterlife, any more than I believe in an afterlife itself. However, I do believe we can choose to live in heaven by choosing love and truth, and in hell by serving hatred and lies.

I don't believe in original sin as something to be ashamed of or equivalent to being a crime; rather I believe that sin is shame, the fear that we do not deserve love just as we are. By truly understanding that we are worth everything including the life of God himself we lay down that burden of shame, the conviction in our own fundamental unlovability, and know the myth of deserving love for the lie that it is. That is how we become truly free to love each other and create communities of compassion and courage.

That is what being a Christian atheist means for me, a hodge-podge as it were of history, culture, and religion. It is both my heritage and my idea of a good life, and it works for me--for now.

Notes
1. No I don't believe atheists are smarter or better, don't @ me. I believe this also clears up the question of whether I am one of those anti-theist New Atheists; I hate that movement and have so many objections to it on intellectual and moral grounds.
2. Also may I say how happy I am that literally a picture of Richard Dawkins comes up when you look up cultural Christianity? Sure he's a garbage human being, but his openly identifying as culturally Christian makes it harder for other Islamophobic and otherwise bigoted atheists to distance themselves from their cultural dominance because they have "nothing to do with Christianity" durr hurr.

Comments

[lb_lee]

You know, it's funny. I don't consider myself an atheist, even though I've never had what folks would call a close relationship with God. (Seeing what's happened to Ro, I can't say I'm sorry about that.) But cultural Christianity was a huge part of my upbringing, and part of why despite all my questions and concerns, I've never really managed to leave, even though I haven't been a regular churchgoer in years.

Where I grew up, my church was a social institution. We didn't talk about theology so much; we were mostly focused on keeping everything together--managing childcare for members, fixing their stuff, pooling money to help each other out, having potlucks and bingo nights and choirs. It was a social safety net that tried to make up for where public institutions had failed, and it was a huge boon to my mother and me. I'm not sure she would've been able to keep me if not for the church.

It's that memory and knowledge of what a church can be that's led me to stay, despite all the problems Christianity has. So you've given me words for an experience I didn't have! Even if I'm still not an atheist. (I still think God exists, just as sort of the joy and life force of the universe, not like a human person at all.)

--Mac

[ljwrites]

Wow, that sounds wonderful! I think that kind of community is even more central to the religious experience than any specific theology. We had a pretty close-knit community in our church, too, but I drifted away as I increasingly did not see eye-to-eye with them. :/ I'm so glad the concepts are helpful to you!

[lb_lee]

I mean, I left my church long before I found out I was bi or started wearing dresses. Maybe it's just as well; I can keep my cherished memories without having the sadness of how they might've reacted.

--Mac