ljwrites: A typewriter with multicolored butterflies on it. (candle)
[personal profile] ljwrites
Originally posted to the [community profile] write_away  community and copied here because I figured it might be relevant to some of my flist. Also because it's hard to find stuff there due to the lack of tags. Note to admins: If you don't allow users to create tags, create some yourself so the place is navigable.

Do you find that having a writer's temperament or talent affects your life in other areas, for better or for worse? Here are the ways it's affected me:

- My only real economic value is as a writer. In my day job I keep falling into translation work. It's something I couldn't do if I weren't bilingual, of course, but that's just the bare minimum requirement. I make money with translation because constructing phrases and getting ideas across clearly is what I'm good at, really all I've ever been good at.

- Even when I'm not writing things down I keep exercising the same muscles. I teach subjects that have nothing to do with writing, but my most effective teaching comes from my creative sensibilities, not whatever knowledge I might have. I synthesize, adjust, and add nuance; I use Jon Stewart and V for Vendetta to teach international law concepts because I see the connections, the same way I do when I write.

- I use words as a weapon and a shield, sometimes in terrible wounding ways. I have inadvertently hurt relationships and feelings because of this, usually because I was right but in hurtful ways. It's something I'm working on, because having insight and the words to express it is no excuse to harm people.

- I love words despite their destructive potential (or maybe because of it). I pore over them and chew them over in my mouth. When someone is struggling with a word to use I'm almost always the person to supply them, and they're almost always the right words. This also means I am an inveterate interrupter, something else I am trying to change.

- In the end, I have never had any other ambitions. Looking back, I rather naively got a law degree because I was told I could get the financial security and time to be a writer that way. The results were mixed. I was largely a zombie through higher education--the only times I showed the professional hustle and passion my parents so wanted for me was when I was working on writing projects.

- Even while trying hard not to be a writer, I was always writing anyway. I wrote on the backs of used paper, in notebooks, on a computer once I learned to use one. I wrote fanfic when I got an internet connection. As I moved up the education ladder and became increasingly confused about where I was going, the times when I wrote were some of the few hours of my day that felt real.

It's not always easy to like this part of myself. I still have a suspicion of artistic types as shifty and untrustworthy, no doubt through the lens of parental disapproval. Surrendering to this strange possession was like relaxing for the first time in my life. I still do my day job, and try to be productive in my stunted way, but I'm better aware of how this writing disease stretches its tentacles into every corner of my life. I've also come to acknowledge that the pages of my own creation are where I truly live, whether I like it or not.

(Edited to correct the name of the community, lol.)

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ljwrites: A typewriter with multicolored butterflies on it. (Default)
L.J. Lee

August 2019

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