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ljwritesThis grew out of a message exchange about one of my reviews to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
loopy777's Maikka 2012 story Trapped in Ba Sing Se. Loopy's was the first vignette, and then I wrote this in answer.
Follows from Part 1 on Loopy's journal.
loopy777's Maikka 2012 story Trapped in Ba Sing Se. Loopy's was the first vignette, and then I wrote this in answer.Follows from Part 1 on Loopy's journal.
"So." Lunatique stood straight, her hands behind her back. "The first thing to remember about dialogue tags and actions is that they're optional."
"Optional." Loopy gave her an appraising look.
"Optional. A lot of writing resources give this advice already: ideally it should be obvious who is speaking a line even without attribution. Look at plays and scenarios."
"Uhh..." Loopy raised a hand, as though in class. "Those come with attribution. You know, the ALL CAPS names every time a different character speaks?"
"Quite. Novels don't have that kind of explicit attribution, so sometimes we have to remind the reader - 'Look Who's Talking!'"
"Oh, great. Movie reference from when John Travolta had a career."
Luna cleared her throat loudly. "Also. The lines can come with directions much like directions in a script. Sometimes the dialogue won't make sense without the action, and sometimes action helps strengthen the lines."
"When the line require the action, by definition the action can't be optional."
"Absolutely. In that case, the action is part of the story. It just happens to come with dialogue."
Loopy tapped a finger on the desk. "I guess it's Case 2 we have to worry about, then. You know, I think all the action attached to the lines in this scene fall under that category."
"You're right. If I, say, tackled you to the ground, that would be a necessary action. Or, for a less action-movie example, if I stared at the window like I was afraid of something, that's likely to be necessary foreshadowing." She did just that, squinting at the view outside as though looking for something. "Clearing throats, tapping the desk - those are things the readers can supply with their imaginations."
"So why write those optional actions?"
"To make the dialogue more interesting and stronger, for one thing." Luna started pacing. "Like you pointed out, novels aren't scripts. On the stage or screen actors will spice up the dialogue or make their point with body language, but so far there are few reported cases of actors popping out of the pages of a book."
"Lamentably few."
"Yes." Luna spun on a heel and paced in the other direction, sneaking another glance at the windows as she did. "These directions also break the monotony. Remember how you mentioned starting every line with a description? Starting all lines with dialogue can numb the reader, too. It's best to mix things up."
Loopy gave a slow nod. "I think I get that. Any other reading you can recommend for me?"
This time it was Luna's turn to give an appraising look. "You're doing well already, and you're capable of finding the way that works for you with small nudges. If you want to read further, I'll point you to my two go-to books. The first is 'Stein on Writing' by Sol Stein, and the second is a section from 'Story' by Robert McKee."
"You mentioned the McKee book in your review. But isn't that for screenwriting?"
"It has good pointers for all forms of writing, but for this subject I just want to recommend one specific section near the back." Luna went to the bookshelf to heft a thick blue hardcover into her hand, then flipped to the back. "Here it is, on page 383. 'Three Tips on Writing Characters for the Screen: One, leave room for the actor.'"
"The actor?" Loopy thought for a moment. "Ohhh, you mean the reader!"
Luna snapped the book closed and put it down with a pleased grin. "They're the actors who act the story out in their heads. Don't micromanage; trust them to fill in the details that are most meaningful and ring the truest to them. Sol Stein tried to say the same thing, I think, with his concept of the 'envelope,' but he never explained it as clearly. Weird, too, because Stein started out as a playwright and the actor analogy should have come easily."
"You mentioned Stein as someone else you recommended."
"Yeahhhh... good ol' Sol. You should treat 'Stein on Writing' with more caution. He talks about useful things, but they're more like rules of thumb. He actually cites examples of good writing that breaks his rules, so if you choose to read him don't get tied up in his advice like I did."
"Grain of salt. Got it."
"Also, if you want a laugh look up 'Said Bookism' on TV Tropes. I mean, you don't do it yourself, but it's one way to see that tags aren't always necessary. For the most part, let the dialogue flow with its own rhythm and let the readers fill in the details." Luna stared out the windows, sweat glinting on her forehead.
"Luna?" Loopy stood up with a scrape of the chair. "This is the third time you've done that. Are you foreshadowing?"
Without warning green light flooded the room and the windows rattled at a keening noise outside.
"Look out!" Luna tackled Loopy to the floor. As they fell the windows shattered all at once and a blinding beam of light passed over them. The whole room shook with a reverberating boom.
"What the everloving unprintable was THAT?" Loopy gaped at the hole that had appeared in the wall opposite the window. A whirring noise started up outside, and more explosions sounded.
"Stay down. Get out of here now!" Luna crawled through the debris toward the door.
Loopy followed, the words spilling from a mouth gone slack with shock. "You know this is really abrupt, right? And if you knew this would happen, it doesn't make any sense for you to stay in this room and not even give me a warning-"
"Quiet and keep crawling! This dialogue is about dialogue, not plot."
"Oh, so do we get a plot about plot the next time around?"
"I said 'quiet' and I have ways to enforce that, Loopy."
Plaster fell from the ruined wall and the shaking ceiling as the duo left the room, and outside green lights flashed as though in an ill-conceived discotheque. The whirring rose to a frenzied pitch and light filled the room again, bringing the ceiling collapsing down in a shower of sudden plot developments.
"Optional." Loopy gave her an appraising look.
"Optional. A lot of writing resources give this advice already: ideally it should be obvious who is speaking a line even without attribution. Look at plays and scenarios."
"Uhh..." Loopy raised a hand, as though in class. "Those come with attribution. You know, the ALL CAPS names every time a different character speaks?"
"Quite. Novels don't have that kind of explicit attribution, so sometimes we have to remind the reader - 'Look Who's Talking!'"
"Oh, great. Movie reference from when John Travolta had a career."
Luna cleared her throat loudly. "Also. The lines can come with directions much like directions in a script. Sometimes the dialogue won't make sense without the action, and sometimes action helps strengthen the lines."
"When the line require the action, by definition the action can't be optional."
"Absolutely. In that case, the action is part of the story. It just happens to come with dialogue."
Loopy tapped a finger on the desk. "I guess it's Case 2 we have to worry about, then. You know, I think all the action attached to the lines in this scene fall under that category."
"You're right. If I, say, tackled you to the ground, that would be a necessary action. Or, for a less action-movie example, if I stared at the window like I was afraid of something, that's likely to be necessary foreshadowing." She did just that, squinting at the view outside as though looking for something. "Clearing throats, tapping the desk - those are things the readers can supply with their imaginations."
"So why write those optional actions?"
"To make the dialogue more interesting and stronger, for one thing." Luna started pacing. "Like you pointed out, novels aren't scripts. On the stage or screen actors will spice up the dialogue or make their point with body language, but so far there are few reported cases of actors popping out of the pages of a book."
"Lamentably few."
"Yes." Luna spun on a heel and paced in the other direction, sneaking another glance at the windows as she did. "These directions also break the monotony. Remember how you mentioned starting every line with a description? Starting all lines with dialogue can numb the reader, too. It's best to mix things up."
Loopy gave a slow nod. "I think I get that. Any other reading you can recommend for me?"
This time it was Luna's turn to give an appraising look. "You're doing well already, and you're capable of finding the way that works for you with small nudges. If you want to read further, I'll point you to my two go-to books. The first is 'Stein on Writing' by Sol Stein, and the second is a section from 'Story' by Robert McKee."
"You mentioned the McKee book in your review. But isn't that for screenwriting?"
"It has good pointers for all forms of writing, but for this subject I just want to recommend one specific section near the back." Luna went to the bookshelf to heft a thick blue hardcover into her hand, then flipped to the back. "Here it is, on page 383. 'Three Tips on Writing Characters for the Screen: One, leave room for the actor.'"
"The actor?" Loopy thought for a moment. "Ohhh, you mean the reader!"
Luna snapped the book closed and put it down with a pleased grin. "They're the actors who act the story out in their heads. Don't micromanage; trust them to fill in the details that are most meaningful and ring the truest to them. Sol Stein tried to say the same thing, I think, with his concept of the 'envelope,' but he never explained it as clearly. Weird, too, because Stein started out as a playwright and the actor analogy should have come easily."
"You mentioned Stein as someone else you recommended."
"Yeahhhh... good ol' Sol. You should treat 'Stein on Writing' with more caution. He talks about useful things, but they're more like rules of thumb. He actually cites examples of good writing that breaks his rules, so if you choose to read him don't get tied up in his advice like I did."
"Grain of salt. Got it."
"Also, if you want a laugh look up 'Said Bookism' on TV Tropes. I mean, you don't do it yourself, but it's one way to see that tags aren't always necessary. For the most part, let the dialogue flow with its own rhythm and let the readers fill in the details." Luna stared out the windows, sweat glinting on her forehead.
"Luna?" Loopy stood up with a scrape of the chair. "This is the third time you've done that. Are you foreshadowing?"
Without warning green light flooded the room and the windows rattled at a keening noise outside.
"Look out!" Luna tackled Loopy to the floor. As they fell the windows shattered all at once and a blinding beam of light passed over them. The whole room shook with a reverberating boom.
"What the everloving unprintable was THAT?" Loopy gaped at the hole that had appeared in the wall opposite the window. A whirring noise started up outside, and more explosions sounded.
"Stay down. Get out of here now!" Luna crawled through the debris toward the door.
Loopy followed, the words spilling from a mouth gone slack with shock. "You know this is really abrupt, right? And if you knew this would happen, it doesn't make any sense for you to stay in this room and not even give me a warning-"
"Quiet and keep crawling! This dialogue is about dialogue, not plot."
"Oh, so do we get a plot about plot the next time around?"
"I said 'quiet' and I have ways to enforce that, Loopy."
Plaster fell from the ruined wall and the shaking ceiling as the duo left the room, and outside green lights flashed as though in an ill-conceived discotheque. The whirring rose to a frenzied pitch and light filled the room again, bringing the ceiling collapsing down in a shower of sudden plot developments.
