I'm so sorry you were treated that way :( My own mistreatment taught me that a) I must never be caught b) by lying and hiding if necessary, because c) my parents were not trustworthy and would hurt me; therefore d) I must never ask for help or talk about anything beyond what they wanted to hear. I'm 40 and a parent myself, but I'm still coming to terms with the damage these "lessons" have done to my relationships, emotions, and so many other areas of my life.

Awww MinoanMama ❤️ (I suddenly wonder what Minoan parenting was like, the Minotaur story is probably not representative...) You are awesome and I hope your roomies appreciate what you do for them. I've been told I'd "understand" my parents when I was a parent myself, but all I understand is bewilderment that they could even think about hitting or screaming at a child. If I ever flew off the handle enough to act so violently toward my child it would take me a long time and a lot of work to forgive myself or trust myself around him.

I don't even like to make them unhappy by making them do what they need to

I am wary that I might become too lenient a parent in my fear of hurting him in any way, and a book I'm re-reading about controlling parenting confirms this is a risk for parents who grew up as controlled children themselves. So it's definitely something I need to work on.